Dilemma

i have a dilemma.. you know.. this fucking dilemma.. i am captured by this young hottie. We are in the same university, college. we had a great drinking session. i was walking with my 2 other classmates, we stopped to quench our thirst and we found this guy with his group of friends laying under the tree. Then, he noticed us and eventually asked us if we would like to join them at ****. i eavesdropped that this guy was responsible for the drinking session. we went to our bh firsts to fix ourselves and our things planning to shop at san jose after joining the group. Then we went there, and at firsts it is a bit awkward for we don't know each other but eventually we fit in. it's nice knowing them, and we also found out that they get a lil annoyed or have this impression that we are "mataray and suplada". after a few glass of mp lights, i felt its power running in my body and felt dizzy,. and i asked this guy where i could comfort myself and he told me that there inside the *********** but i still didn't know exactly where. so he went with me but not inside. of course, hahahaha... and i told him to stay there and wait for me, at that very moment is our first intimate innocent shared touches (not sexually). then, we got closer from each other and i was holding him already on his arms, and lay my head there. he's gentleman but i could feel that he has this man nature (maniac factor). he touched me and i didn't mind it and moved away; but i liked it when he's holding my hands. he did it two or three times. it's their innate nature but i learned that he would not love or court me not just because of purely "love" but more of lust.. i think i love him already because im attracted sexually to him. i know that we have mutual feeling. when i rubbed his hands with my thumb, a form of displacement, he responded also likewise. i was like.. ohh. he knows body lang. that he is an expert when he comes to it. . i know that he was aroused and he's only sexually attracted to me.. we shared some chit chats. blah blah blah.. i know that he would not love me back that this attraction would fade away but everytime that i would see him, i would feel the same attraction.i want to own him, his lips his touch,his body, but i know that he doesn't like me as an innocent and pure one.. omg. i tell to myself that if he would not text me or pm me, until tomorrow 11 59. it only means that he is not interested, and he would not love me back.i have to accept it.. i should supressed everything.

-kdm