Absence is the proof that i'm alive.

I miss the place along with the person I'm with. I was walking with my friends on our way to our bh, then, i felt a sudden nostalgia through the rays of the sun that traps my body. As I was heading straight of the road, I could see where he lived before, the place I used to go and surprise him at the end of the day. i miss the feeling of excitement I get, the enthusiasm to show up to him, the eagerness to witness how I triggers his senses and how I transformed everything in him. OOhhh. :'(

It's a feeling of happy and sad. I'm sad because I was not able to fill my routine before-- to light up the end of the day with him. I'm happy because I have this feeling, these memories, the nostalgia, that I was able to experience those, that I'm missing it, that I can feel the absence that makes the difference in our relationship. I really do believe that absence makes the heart grows fonder. Everytime that absence is present, I valued more, I loved more, I grew more and I felt more. It's what makes me alive I think, makes me survive. 

-kdm

Jealousy.

I dreamed of him last night and i was surprised that my dream solved a lot about my existence and my anxieties. i felt refreshed and restarted when i woke up and felt like it's a very blessed day for me.

There are women who were seducing him and he was like in a tv ads and he is doing like a sex thing with another woman, i felt jealousy captivates me. I could see in his face that he was doing great in portraying his role and act as if it's real and he's been seduced by those women. and i was like, oh, i'm breaking. damn! I don't want to see him having any sexual activity with anyone, except with d only one. Here is my obsessive compulsive behavior.. i don't want also that he's been fantasizing other girls.

My thoughts for you.

Hi. Miss kita. haha.. ang awkward. kase ang drama. haha.

it's true. yeah. haha. ive been thinking a while ago how i wished you're laying beside me and we're talking of things full of shits or just anything or even nothing at all. those things make me feel alive and revitalize. im feeling very sentimental at this moment. my gawd, haha. i just miss you badly and i heard this "a thousand mile" makes me even more to miss you. 

Love Drunk

Hi. I was very lightheaded and wobbly last night. I wanted to lay on the side of the road and sleep. But, my ego tells me that i shouldn’t. I didn’t know whats really happening in me but i think that my pride is responsible for this. I was so fucked up. Hay. I crave. Yes. But i don’t want to look like a desperate one, i still wanted someone to beg or to please me, that i'm the dominant one.

-kdm

Untold.

Silence speaks when WORDS can't.


To F & R:

I was browsing some files on my external hard drive and found this accidentally. I just miss you guys(gals) today and I will miss you more (I know, I will). *drama much. haha. oh. this is not me. haha*

We're not having quality time together that we used to have before. haha. I know, both of you felt the same way as I did -- the strange coldness (hahaha).
It looks like I'm exercising too much of being "young,wild & free", right? haha. don't worry 'bout me. (feeler.haha). 

I'll take the responsibilities of my own actions. And pass all my troubles. 
I haven't told you about my enigmas lately or even to update you, i didn't either. haha. Because those weren't worth telling and I was trying to be more of independent and 
Whatever happens, i'm still your friend and will always be. :)
i'm glad i've been your friend.


Your friend,
--kdm